


I’m Your Moon, You’re My Star

by MalinaMilkbread



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Depressing, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28901631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalinaMilkbread/pseuds/MalinaMilkbread
Summary: Bokuto and Akaashi get into an argument and Akaashi decides to ignore Bokuto. He has caught feelings for Bokuto and knows that his best friend doesn’t feel the same way so tries his best to push the other out of his life. This however, fails as he soon realises that he can’t live without Bokuto. He needs him. Life takes the two on twists and turns and everything seems to be going well.However, the future the two boys hoped for together is now no longer achievable. Not if there’s only one of them left.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	I’m Your Moon, You’re My Star

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time trying to write an angst fanfic so yeah, enjoy! I love Bokuto and Akaashi so much <3

**_Bokuto always had a love for the moon and the stars. Just the sight of a full moon laid among an ocean of twinkling stars enticed him and he didn’t know why, but the feeling just made him happy._ **

* * *

  
  


Bokuto was running late to school. He had woken up late due to having stayed up all night on a love quarrel. He had tried to get to sleep so many times but failed miserably so just decided to stay up and stare at the night sky out of his bedroom window. His negative thoughts had gotten the better of him. Though, that was no surprise. When did his thoughts ever have anything positive to say about him....

_Bokuto’s POV *DAMN! THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME THIS WEEK I'VE BEEN LATE!*_

Bokuto had just woken up a mere 10 minutes ago and had to skip breakfast and just change into his school uniform and pack his bag. Shortly after confirming he had all his books ready for the day, he had quickly rushed out the front door and started a quick jog towards Fukurōdani Academy. Letting the music playing from his earphones take his thoughts away, he thought deeply about many things.

His mind should’ve been set on school work and tasks that he had to do for the day. Anything school-related really. He also needed to work out what excuse he would use this time for being late. He couldn’t just use the same excuses that he’d used in previous times he’d been late. However, all his thoughts were not school-related at all and instead, consisted of something different. Consisted of the same thing. Or rather, the same person.

  
  


_**Keiji Akaashi.** _

__

The person that Bokuto had fallen for. The person that had been keeping Bokuto up at night. And unfortunately, the very same person that Bokuto had just gotten into an argument with.

**_“Ha! Akaashi could never love a freak like you!”_ **

**_“You think Akaashi is ignoring you for no reason? Are you serious? He’s ignoring you because you exist! Just leave him alone already, you’re unwanted!”_ **

**_“This is the pain you deserve anyways! It’s not like you’re anything special! Just another unimportant person in Akaashi’s life that he can get rid of whenever he pleases!”_**

> _Bokuto: NO NO NO STOP IT! GET **OUT** OF MY HEAD!!_

Bokuto mentally cursed himself as these.... these thoughts were the cause of preventing him from sleeping.

> _Bokuto: **Why is life so hard.....** as if I don’t have enough to worry about with...... no... I can’t think about that......_

* * *

  
  


Bokuto arrived at school, out of breath, and quickly rushed towards his second class. Yes. He had completely missed the whole of his first lesson. Just like yesterday and the day before and the day before.

_Bokuto’s POV *Gosh, what has my life come to*_

He quietly entered the classroom as the teacher nodded at him and he apologised and took his seat.

Class was boring and anyone who thought otherwise would have to be crazy. Bokuto had spent the whole lesson quietly listening to music through his earphones and jotting down a few notes here and there. All that played through his mind was Akaashi this and Akaashi that. His thoughts were just full of Akaashi. Some positive thoughts as well as some negative.

_**“Akaashi is my best friend, he would never leave me”** _

_**“Akaashi is getting sick of my immature behaviour, that’s why he’s ignoring me”** _

_**“Akaashi cares for me as much as I care for him”** _

_**“Akaashi will just leave me, he hates me”** _

Class was already bad enough, having these thoughts torment him wasn’t making the situation any better. Since last week, Akaashi had been distant with Bokuto. Whenever Bokuto would approach him, he would either just turn in the other direction and pretend he didn’t see him or make up an excuse to leave. Yes, it was true that Akaashi wasn’t a very social person, but Bokuto and him were best friends. Why would Akaashi all of a sudden act like this?

Lunch slowly approached and Bokuto opened the door to the canteen. As he stepped in, he noticed Konoha waiting at their usual table. Bokuto walked over to him and sat down.

> _Konoha: Hey Bokuto, where’s Akaashi?_

Konoha asked with a questioning face

> _Bokuto: Actually... I don’t know_
> 
> _Konoha: You don’t know? But don’t you normally wait for him outside his classroom before coming here?_
> 
> _Bokuto: yeah I do...._
> 
> _Konoha: so you didn’t wait for him today?_
> 
> _Bokuto: no no!! I went to his classroom and waited outside for a couple minutes before deciding to peak inside the classroom and nobody was in there. Their class had already left. Akaashi left me._
> 
> _Konoha: what? That doesn’t make sense. If he got let out earlier then he would have waited outside of your classroom..._
> 
> _Bokuto: yeah well maybe, maybe Akaashi doesn’t want to wait for me anymore..... maybe Akaashi is so sick of me that he doesn’t want to be friends anymore..._
> 
> _Konoha: WOAH WOAH WOAH where did that assumption come from??_

Konoha asked, concerned

> _Bokuto: I-_
> 
> _Kuroo: Hey bro!! Hey Konoha!!_
> 
> _Kenma: Hey_

Kuroo and Kenma came up to the two from behind, holding lunch trays in their hands.

> _Kuroo: what’s up guys?_

Kuroo asked, analysing Bokuto and Konoha’s facial expressions.

> _Kenma: Why do you two look so....... I don’t know like, sad?_
> 
> _Kuroo: just what I was about to say_

Kuroo said, grabbing onto Kenma’s hand and guiding him to their seats around the table, before sitting down.

> _Kenma: So? What’s wrong guys.... and where’s Akaashi?_
> 
> _Bokuto: I actually don’t know.._
> 
> _Kuroo: huh? You don’t know? But don’t you two normally come here together?_

Kuroo looked between Bokuto and Konoha questioningly.

> _Kenma: Hey... did something happen between you two?_

Kenma murmured

> _  
> Bokuto: how did you know...._

Kenma rolled his eyes.

> _Kenma: I mean, you two normally go everywhere together, spend every second of the day together. I swear I hardly ever see you two apart. But now, you seem more distant. Plus, you_

Kenma said, pointing at Bokuto

> _Kenma: are in even more of an emo mood than usual._

Kuroo and Konoha chuckled whilst Bokuto just sat there and pouted.

> _Bokuto: wow, as if I didn’t know that already_

Bokuto said, still holding a pout.

> _Kuroo: cmon bro, why don’t you go and try and find Akaashi now? He can’t be far right? This school isn’t that big. Maybe take this time to work out the problems between you two._
> 
> _Bokuto: but bro!! You don’t understand_

Bokuto looked at Kuroo with broken eyes.

> _Bokuto: A-Akaashi was so mad at me yesterday, he shouted at me a-and I-..._

Bokuto’s voice cracked and he felt his eyes burning.

> _Bokuto: H-He said.._

Bokuto’s voice cracked once more

> _Bokuto: T-that h-he wants to be left alone.... **WHAT I-IF HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE?!?**_

Bokuto had snapped and he was panicking. His breathing became quick and he could feel a soft tear roll down his face.

> _Kenma: Hey..... hey deep breaths Koutarou..._

Kenma said, moving closer to Bokuto and rubbing his back.

> _Kenma: it’s going to be ok..... Akaashi is your best friend. He’s bound to come around, trust me, I know he will!_

Kenma said, reassuringly

> _Kenma: Maybe just give him some space. Could you have possibly done anything to upset him?_

Kenma carried on rubbing Bokuto’s back as Kuroo stared at Kenma in awe. He was so proud. Proud of how far Kenma had come.

_Kuroo’s POV *I’m so proud of how much you’ve grown Kenma...*_

> _Bokuto: not that I know of..... I’ve just been.... myself....._

After a while, he once again, let his negative thoughts consume him. He was in a dark place and just didn’t know how to escape. He had come to a realisation. And this realisation hit him like a bomb shell.

> _Bokuto: But maybe that’s the issue..... maybe me being myself is the issue...._
> 
> _Konoha: what are you talking about!! Akaashi loves being around you! You’re the only person that he’s really truly open to!_

Konoha said, voice slightly shaky. He didn’t want Bokuto to fall into his deep emo mood because he wouldn’t know how to deal with it. He wouldn’t even know where to start if he was to try and cheer him up. The only person that knows how to deal with Bokuto’s deep emo mood is..... Akaashi. And Akaashi wasn’t an option right now.

> _Bokuto: No! He doesn’t like being around me! He just puts up with me, that’s all! He doesn’t even care for me._

Bokuto’s voice slowly turned into a whisper, letting his emotions get the better of him. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

> **_Bokuto: or love me a-at all......._ **

  
  


His voice could barely be heard but nonetheless, his three friends could hear him loud and clear.

  
  


> _Bokuto: **not like I love him....**_

  
  


> _Kuroo: Oh Bokuto.._..

Kuroo said, standing up from his seat and wrapping his arms around Bokuto.

> _Kuroo: don’t think like that!!! I am positive that Akaashi loves and cares about you ok? I’m sure that Akaashi is just going through some problems right now, but just focus on yourself for now ok? Give him some time, it will all be alright._

Konoha and Kenma both joined in with the embrace around Bokuto. Bokuto let his tears run free.

He let out a small smile.

_Bokuto’s POV *Thanks guys, you’re really the best friends I could’ve ever wished for*_

Lunch was coming to an end. Bokuto thought about his friend’s advice and took it in. He decided that it was for the best if he and Akaashi distanced a little bit. At least until Akaashi was ready to talk.

* * *

  
  


Two weeks later and Akaashi was still being distant. However, in the last couple days, he had been speaking to Bokuto a little more. It was Friday and Bokuto decided that he would talk to Akaashi today. After school. He was going to do it.

All the lessons went by like a breeze, as Bokuto’s mind was only set on Akaashi.

_Bokuto’s POV *What should I say? Keiji is ready to talk to me now, right? Ackkkk!*_

Before Bokuto even realised, the end of the day was just around the corner. He was sat down in his last lesson for the day, maths. The teacher was going through some sums on the board, explaining the lesson for the day when suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Bokuto spun around to face the door when he caught a glimpse of a familiar face peering behind the see through panel of the door.

_Bokuto’s POV *A-akaashi....?*_

Bokuto immediately stood up and excused himself from the lesson. The teacher understood and let him leave. She had noticed that Bokuto hadn’t been himself for around two weeks now, because of his problems with Akaashi, so let him sort it out and hoped that he would go back to his normal, cheery self soon.

He gently opened the door but kept his eyes on the floor, refusing to make eye contact with Akaashi and refusing to get too close to him. He had let his nerves get the better of him.

_Bokuto’s POV *Cmon Koutaro! It’s only Akaashi. He’s your **best friend**. It’s going to be fine*_

Akaashi noticed the distance between the two and crept his hand over to Bokuto’s and gently interlocked their fingers, pulling him closer and slowly guiding him outside into a more secluded area of the school.

_Bokuto’s POV *W-wait... what’s he doing...*_

They had arrived near the back of the school where nobody could really find them and Akaashi spoke.

> _Akaashi: I’m sorry Koutarou..._

Akaashi let go of Bokuto’s hand

> _Bokuto: H-huh?_
> 
> _Akaashi: It was wrong of me to ignore you because of my own personal problems...... I just figured that I would forget easier if I distanced myself from you...... well turns out that was the wrong choice_
> 
> _Bokuto: w-wait.... forget easier?_
> 
> _Akaashi: oh... forget I said that_

Bokuto looked at Akaashi with a puzzled expression.

_Bokuto’s POV *Forget?? What was he trying to forget? Was he trying to forget.... me?*_

His expression saddened as he tried to push that thought out of his mind.

_Bokuto’s POV *No...... he wouldn’t want to forget about me.... right?*_

He wasn’t sure what to think at this point. However, there was one thing he knew. He knew that Akaashi was not going to waltz out of his life again. Not anytime soon. Not if he had anything to say about it.

> _Akaashi: Just know that I’m sorry. I really am sorry. I hope you can forgive me._

Bokuto’s expression softened as he wrapped his arms tightly around Akaashi and smiled softly.

> _Bokuto: It’s ok Keiji, I forgive you_

_Bokuto’s POV *I’m just glad to be with you again*_

Meanwhile, Akaashi was mentally cursing himself for how much of a fool he’d been to even consider the idea of pushing the number one most important person in his life away.

_**“Why would you even try to ignore Bokuto?”** _

_**“He probably hates you now, I bet he doesn’t actually forgive you”** _

_**“Did you see Bokuto throughout these past two weeks? He’s been so upset and it’s all your fault! You mistake!**_

Turns out, Bokuto wasn’t the only one having negative thoughts.

> _Bokuto: Hey.... what do you say we get out of here? Go to the park and just relax for an hour or so?_
> 
> _Akaashi: yeah, sounds good..._

Little did they know that this 1 hour would turn into 2 hours, then 3 hours, then 4 hours, and then before they knew it, the night had already approached and the sun had set for the day. 

The two boys were seated in the local park in the area, lying with their backs against the grass. The night had arrived which meant that it was already getting quite late. However, time didn’t bother the two as they both spent their time chatting and taking in the view of the park at night.

> _Akaashi: Hey... Kou?_
> 
> _Bokuto: Mhm?_
> 
> _Akaashi: You want to know the real reason why I got so mad at you? Why I ignored you?_
> 
> _Bokuto: well I know it’s because I’m being too clingy and annoying, Akaashi....._
> 
> _Akaashi: no.... it’s not_
> 
> _Bokuto: it’s..... not?_

Bokuto had spent this whole time thinking that Akaashi was mad at him and that it was his fault. That if he was just a better friend, Akaashi would have no reason to get mad. But now, Akaashi was contradicting that idea...?

> _Akaashi: **Forgive me Koutarou....**_
> 
> _Koutarou: H-huh?_

Akaashi cupped Bokuto’s face and placed a kiss on his lips.

> _Akaashi: I’ve been ignoring you because I wanted to get rid of these silly feelings I have for you. I just figured that distancing myself from you would make them go away. Turns out that that’s not how it works. Guess I was foolish like I always am. I know you don’t feel the same way and I respect that. Just.....just please don’t hate me...._
> 
> _Bokuto: **I love you Keiji.....**_
> 
> _Akaashi: w-wait HUH?!?_

Akaashi’s heart began racing, feeling his cheeks burn up.  
  


_Akaashi’s POV *T-there’s no way I heard that correctly-*_

> _  
> Bokuto: **I love you....**_

Bokuto had finally said it. He finally confessed. He did the one thing that he has been waiting to do forever and he couldn’t have felt any better.

_Akaashi’s POV *I don’t deserve you....*_

Akaashi gently rested his head onto Bokuto’s shoulder.

> _Akaashi_ _:_ **_I love you too...._**

And that was the start of a whole new life for the two boys.

* * *

Ten years later...

It was another regular day. Bokuto plugged his earphones in, clicked play on his playlist and grasped his pen and started scribbling down something in his notebook.

**_Music. The route to escape from reality. The route to forget your worries, even if it was just for a little while..._ **

> _Akaashi: Koutarooo!_

Akaashi came up from behind Bokuto, pulling him into a back hug and nuzzling his head into the crook of Bokuto’s neck.

> _Bokuto: Hey ‘kaashi! Are you ok?_
> 
> _Akaashi: yeah I am thank you! And still calling me Akaashi huh? It’s Keiji Bokuto to you now!_
> 
> _Bokuto: yeah yeah Akaashi_

Bokuto chuckled.

> _Akaashi: anyways, whatcha doing?_
> 
> _Bokuto: o-oh um... it’s just a shopping list!_

_Akaashi’s POV *Huh? Did he just stutter? Hm oh well I’m sure it’s nothing important*_

> _Akaashi: hm... ok....Well do you want to help me cook dinner?_

Bokuto’s eyes sparkled

> _Bokuto: sure thing my love!_

Akaashi blushed. He’d never really gotten used to the feeling of being addressed that. He’d always just assumed that he was nothing special and that nobody would ever love him enough to call him that....

Well he was very very wrong. In fact, extremely extremely wrong. He was always going to be wrong if Bokuto Koutaro existed in the world and was there to give Akaashi all the love he deserved. Plus, they were married after all.

* * *

They headed to the kitchen and Akaashi took the ingredients out of the fridge.

> _Bokuto: Ramen? I know how much you love ramen!_
> 
> _Akaashi: Yes please_

Bokuto beamed as he walked over to the cabinets and draws to take out the bowls and utensils

> _Bokuto: **EEEK! I'M SO EXCITED TO COOK WITH YOU KEIJI!!**_
> 
> _Akaashi: I’m really excited too Kou_

And that evening, Akaashi and Bokuto spent preparing ramen noodles for dinner. Akaashi glanced over at Bokuto every so often to catch small glimpses of his heartwarming smiles as he excitedly paced around the kitchen and helped prepare the ingredients. After preparing, they finally sat down and took in the view of the delicious noodles in front of them.

> _Bokuto: That was so fun Keiji! We should cook ramen together more often like this!_
> 
> _Akaashi: We should Koutarou_
> 
> _Bokuto: Hmmmmm.....how about next Friday we do the same thing?_
> 
> _Akaashi: Sure! But we should also try cooking other food as well in the future_

Akaashi smiled as he thought about all the possible food he could cook with Bokuto. It wasn’t like Akaashi actually enjoyed cooking that much, but just the thought of Bokuto being there by his side, having so much fun and enjoying every second of it, was enough to make Akaashi excited for the next time they were going to cook.

> _Bokuto: WAIT! Keiji! On my birthday, we should make ramen!!! I know you like staying home in the evenings so that’s what we should do!!!!!_
> 
> _Akaashi: but it’s your birthday. We should be doing what you want to do! Not staying home just because I like to!_

Akaashi grinned as he thought about how happy he was to have someone like Bokuto in his life. Someone that loved him so much.

> _Bokuto: Nah! Whatever you want to do, we shall do! Oh oh and I’ve also got so many plans on places I want to go during the day!_
> 
> _Akaashi: I’m sure we’re gonna have lots of fun!_
> 
> _Bokuto: Wait KEIJI LOOK!_

Bokuto pointed out the window and Akaashi’s gaze met what Bokuto was pointing to.

> _Bokuto: **IT’S A FULL MOON!!** YESSSSS! AND LOOK AT THE STARS KEIJI! LOOK AT THE STARS! IT'S SO BEAUTIFULLLL_
> 
> _Akaashi: it really is...._

Bokuto’s eyes glimmered as he admired the bright shining moon that was surrounded by twinkling stars, scattered along the night sky. Bokuto had a habit of pointing out whenever there was a full moon and honestly, Akaashi didn’t mind it at all. It amazed him how something so simple like a full moon could make someone so excited. Whilst Bokuto was admiring the view, Akaashi took the chance to look at Bokuto. He looked a bit worn out and tired but Akaashi reassured himself that it was just because it was a pretty rough day today. He took in the sight of all Bokuto’s features and sighed happily.

_Akaashi’s POV *God am I lucky to have married this man*_

After the two finished eating their food, they decided to have a movie marathon. Akaashi grabbed a load of DVDs from the cabinet and they spent the night watching movies. Snuggled in the warm red blanket that kept them close together, Bokuto stroked Akaashi’s hair now and then. Every few minutes, he made funny side comments about the movie, that without a fail, made Akaashi giggle every time. Neither was really that invested in the movie, rather invested in each other instead. 6 hours had passed in no time and they had fallen deep asleep in each other's arms, wrapped cozy on the sofa.

  
  


* * *

The next morning, Bokuto woke up to find Akaashi snuggled close to him

_Bokuto’s POV *Morning Keiji, I’ll go and make some breakfast for you*_

Bokuto carefully slipped himself off of the sofa, making sure not to create too much movement so that he didn’t jolt Akaashi awake and slowly made his way to the kitchen, taking out the ingredients to make Akaashi breakfast.

_Bokuto’s POV *Ok.... today’s the day I’m going to give it to him*  
  
_

Akaashi’s eyes fluttered open and his brain slowly processed his surroundings and he noticed Bokuto making breakfast.

> _Akaashi: Morning Kou_
> 
> _Bokuto: Keiji? MORNING! Wait oh no, was I too loud?!? Did I wake you up?_
> 
> _Akaashi: No no! Don’t worry!_
> 
> _Bokuto: Oh good! Well breakfast is nearly ready!_
> 
> _Akaashi: Thankyou!_
> 
> _Bokuto: No problem Akaashi! Now come and sit at the table_

They ate and talked about their plans for the day before Bokuto suddenly remembered. He scrambled over to their bedroom and quickly grabbed a small blue box and came back. Bokuto then clasped onto Akaashi’s hands and placed the box carefully into Akaashi’s.

> _Akaashi: huh? What is this?_
> 
> _Bokuto: Ok.... well I can’t tell you. And you can’t open it either_
> 
> _Akaashi: what? Then why did you give it to me if I can’t know what’s inside?_
> 
> _Bokuto: Uhm well you see... uhh... can you promise me something?_
> 
> _Akaashi: nah_
> 
> _Bokuto: KEIJI!_
> 
> _Akaashi: yes, yes of course I can_
> 
> _Bokuto: **Promise me that you’ll only open this box when you feel the most lonely in your life! Like when you’re needing support!**_

_  
  
Akaashi’s POV *Huh? What a strange promise...*_

> _Akaashi: yeah... sure.._
> 
> _Bokuto: **you promise?**_

  
  


Bokuto stared earnestly

> _Akaashi: **I promise**_

* * *

Two days later

> _Bokuto: KEIJI OVER HERE! OVER HERE! LOOK I WON THE JACKPOT!_

Akaashi and Bokuto were in an arcade, out for a break from work. Bokuto squealed excitedly as “1000 TICKETS WON!” flashed on the screen and the tickets started being dispensed from the side of the machine. Bokuto’s eyes were glued to the tickets being dispensed whilst Akaashi’s were glued onto Bokuto’s joy-filled face. It had been a while since both had been to an arcade and there was no doubt that Bokuto loved playing on the different machines, ranging from the 2p pushing machines to the simulation machines, trying to win the jackpots. Akaashi did enjoy going to the arcades, in fact, on their first date they spent hours playing on the machines, wasting their money away until they had none left.

_Akaashi’s POV *The memories really do bring me back...*_

After another hour of hanging around in the arcade, bokuto fed his tickets into the ticket feeder and on the screen flashed “3440”

_Bokuto’s POV *YES I FINALLY HAVE ENOUGH TO GET IT!*_

Bokuto rushed over to the counter where all the prizes that you could claim with tickets were and he exchanged the tickets he won for a prize.

> _Bokuto: Hey miss! Please could I have that one_

Bokuto pointed to the prize on the top shelf

> _Worker: This one?_
> 
> _Bokuto: Yes please!_
> 
> _Worker: Alright, here you go!_

The worker handed Bokuto 2 small keychains. One **moon charm and one star charm**. Bokuto immediately attached the moon charm to his jacket zipper and held the star chain in his hand and then walked away from the counter. He walked around for a couple of minutes before noticing Akaashi outside. Confused, Bokuto walked around to the exit and opened the door to leave. Suddenly, he could feel a strange tense feeling lingering around in the air as soon as he left the building, and Bokuto didn’t like it one bit.

_Bokuto’s POV *I wonder why Keiji is outside? I thought he said he was going to wait for me inside?*_

Bokuto ran up to Akaashi from behind, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist.

> _Bokuto: I was looking for you!_

Akaashi tensed

_Bokuto’s POV *H-huh...?*_

Bokuto let go of him as he noticed that Akaashi looked a bit dazed. He was staring at another couple. They were fighting.

> _Woman: Ugh are you actually SERIOUS?!?_
> 
> _Man: OF COURSE I AM!! I SHOULD BE THE ONE ASKING YOU THAT! WE CAME OUT HERE TO TAKE AKIRA OUT ON A FUN DAY OUT!_
> 
> _Woman: WELL I OBVIOUSLY KNOW THAT! I WAS THE ONE THAT SUGGESTED THE IDEA!! CLEARLY, YOU SHOULDN’T BE THE ONE LOOKING AFTER OUR SON WITH THAT DIRTY ATTITUDE OF YOURS_
> 
> _Man: EXCUSE ME?!? LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE THE SELFISH PERSON HERE, NOT EVEN LETTING ME SPEND TIME WITH MY SON!!_

Akaashi just stood there, frozen in place, unable to move even if he wanted to.

> _Woman: YOU MEAN OUR SON!_

The woman’s eyes started tearing.

> _Man: MY GOODNESS, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH A PERSON LIKE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE._

Akaashi flinched.

The man immediately slipped the ring he had around his finger off and shoved it into the woman’s hands

> _Man: Take it. I don’t want it anymore._

And the man left. Leaving the woman stranded. Alone. She sunk to her knees and covered her face with her hands before sobbing. And the sobs. The heart-wrenching sobs that escaped that woman’s mouth made Akaashi shiver. His heart shattered into a million pieces for her.

> _Bokuto: Akaashi........ are you alright_

Akaashi snapped out of his trance and turned to face Bokuto.

> _Akaashi: O-oh, hey...._
> 
> _Bokuto: Akaashi..... what’s wrong?_
> 
> _Akaashi: H-huh? Nothings wrong! Don’t worry about it! It’s stupid anyways!_

Bokuto grasped onto both of Akaashi’s hands and brought them to his chest

> _Bokuto: Nothing you say will ever be stupid Keiji! I promise I’ll be here to listen ok? Now tell me what’s wrong.._

Akaashi took a deep breath in before speaking

> _Akaashi: those people..._
> 
> _Bokuto: those... people? The couple over there that’s....._

Bokuto glanced over Akaashi’s shoulder

> _Bokuto: fighting.....?_
> 
> _Akaashi: yeah....... Kou.... ?_
> 
> _Bokuto: mhm?_

Akaashi turned his head down to face the floor.

> _Akaashi: you don’t think we’ll ever be like that..... right?_

Bokuto looked at Akaashi, puzzled.

> _Bokuto: well of course not!_
> 
> _Akaashi: b-but what if you run out of love for me....._
> 
> _Bokuto: Keiji....._
> 
> _Akaashi: What if one day.... you decide to leave me...._
> 
> _Bokuto: KEIJI!_
> 
> _Akaashi: **WHAT IF ONE DAY YOU DECIDE THAT YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE AND LEAVE!?!?**_

Akaashi’s knees gave in, collapsing onto the pavement floor. Tears were running down his cold cheeks as he shivered from the coldness of the air around him. Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi, gently stroking his hair. This was a method he had learnt worked to calm Akaashi down whenever he was in need of support.

> _Akaashi: I’m sorry.... I didn’t mean to burst out like that..._
> 
> _Bokuto: No no! Don’t ever apologise! It’s my fault for making you feel like this!_

And once again, the same thought that had come to Akaashi’s mind the day he confessed, had come back.

_Akaashi’s POV ***I really don’t deserve him...***_

Bokuto decided to change the topic. He didn’t want Akaashi to be overflowing with these negative emotions.

> _Bokuto: So uh.... I went to exchange my tickets and I got us these charms, and look! We match!_

Bokuto signalled to the moon charm that was now attached to the zipper of his jacket and the star charm that was placed on the palm of his hands.

> _Bokuto: And consider this your happy charm ok...? Whenever you feel sad, just look at this charm and think of it as a reminder of how much I love you!_

Bokuto’s eyes glimmered as he smiled brightly.

> _Akaashi: Thankyou Kou......_
> 
> _Bokuto: You’re welcome Keiji!_

And that was the day that Akaashi decided to attach the **star charm** to his jacket zipper too. That way, they could really be matching then.

  
  


* * *

_**One month later...** _

It was another normal evening. Bokuto was getting ready to visit Kuroo and Akaashi was going to just relax at home for the rest of the night.

> _Bokuto: I’m going out to see Kuroo now! I’ll text you when I get there!_

Bokuto cupped Akaashi’s face and kissed his forehead.

> _Akaashi: Ok have fun Kou!_
> 
> _Koutaro: thanks! Bye and I love you!_
> 
> _Akaashi: I love you too_

And he left.....

Bokuto zipped up his jacket before plugging in his earphones, pressing play on his playlist and starting in a slow jog towards his best friend’s house.

_Bokuto’s POV *I can't wait to hang out with my Kubro! It’s been so long! But I can’t forget to text Akaashi, I know if I forget, he’s going to start worrying. But that’s why I love him*_

And Bokuto started humming the melody of the song that was playing in his earphones

**On Bokuto’s phone: Now Playing - Can’t help Falling in Love By Elvis Presley**

* * *

**4 hours.**

It had been 4 hours since Akaashi had last received a text from Bokuto. It wasn’t like Bokuto to forget to text Akaashi. In fact, he was normally spamming Akaashi’s phone with texts and memes non-stop throughout the day, so this came as a surprise. Akaashi quickly refreshed his messages to see if he had received anything before deciding that Bokuto was probably just having fun with Kuroo and forgot to message him.

**That was what he thought until he received a call from Kuroo.**

_Akaashi’s POV *Tetsuro?? Don’t tell me Kou got drunk or something*_

Akaashi answered the phone

> _Kuroo: YO KEIJI! Where’s Bokubro??? I’ve been waiting for like 4 hours man!!! Don’t tell me he forgot that we were gonna hang out today. Or worse, don’t tell me yall got carried away having a movie marathon or dancing or something like that?!_

Akaashi’s heart dropped

> _Akaashi: h-huh? H-he’s not with you?!?! HE LEFT THE HOUSE 4 HOURS AGO!!!!!_

Akaashi was panicked. It wasn’t like Akaashi to lose his cool but if it was about Bokuto, he would.

> _Kuroo: Wait.... WHAT?!?! HE’S NOT WITH YOU EITHER?!?!_
> 
> _Akaashi: Crap...._
> 
> _Kuroo: Ok Keiji, lets stay calm.....I’ll get Kenma_

Kuroo paused

> _Kuroo: Come over to my house and we’ll try searching for him, he can’t be f-far right? I’m sure he’s just gotten d-distracted and saw something on the displays in a shop or something ..._

Akaashi took a deep breath, in and out. He really hoped that Kuroo was right, even though Kuroo didn’t even seem sure at this point, he was stuttering. Hesitatingly, he agreed and slipped his shoes on before making his way to Kuroo and Kenma’s house as quickly as he could.

_**Where could he be?** _

_**Was he alright?** _

_**Why hasn’t he contacted anyone?** _

These were all questions flooding Akaashi’s head as he tried to convince himself that everything was going to be ok. That they were just going to find Bokuto in a shop, safe and sound. Unfortunately........ that was not the case. Before Akaashi could even knock, the door swung open and a panicked Kenma made immediate eye contact with him.

> _Kuroo: Kenma! Calm down, ok? I’m sure Koutarou is alright, you know how he is.  
>   
> _

Kuroo said. However an uneasiness in his voice showed that even he was unsure of his own words.

> _Akaashi: Yeah... I’m sure he’s fine. Probably knowing him, he got lost here on the way or something_

Akaashi knew that Bokuto couldn’t possibly have gotten lost. He was just making excuses to not think the worst of this situation. He knew that Bokuto regularly visited Kuroo and always jogged there by foot. He can’t possibly have forgotten the same route that he’s been taking for years now.

_Akaashi’s POV *He’s fine. H-he’s going to be fine. I should stop worrying like an idiot all the time. He’s an adult and he can take care of himself*_

Deceiving other people was easy for Akaashi. However, deceiving himself was another story.

Kuroo, Kenma and Akaashi all set foot and started walking out of the neighbourhood, towards the main town square where they were hoping to find Bokuto. Kenma kept spam calling Bokuto but every time, the call rang for a while and then went out. Kuroo kept fiddling with his coat zipper as he attempted to calm Kenma down, even though it was clear that he was losing his cool by every passing second.

And Akaashi.

Akaashi just stared into the dark, starry night sky, trying to push all the negative thoughts that were flooding through his mind away.

The night was truly beautiful today. To be honest, Akaashi hadn’t really taken that close attention to the sky and his surroundings in general before he met Bokuto. Bokuto always had a love for nature. He was specifically a Uranophile/ Philouran. This meant that he had a particular love for the moon and stars.

Bokuto helped show him that the most simple things in life mattered. The most simple things like the pretty plants that grew on the sidewalk in the neighbourhood they lived in. Plants that nobody would really notice unless you look closely. Or the little birds that took care of their families in the tree that stood outside their house. These little things were what made life worth living for. That made life special.

Akaashi was finding himself getting lost in the stars when suddenly, he heard a shriek and a scream come from beside him.

Akaashi turned his head to find Kenma standing dead-still, hands covering his mouth in shock and tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Kuroo rushed over to what they had just seen and Akaashi was still confused until he saw it. It was a sight that nobody could possibly ever prepare for.

_**It was Bokuto.** _

He was lying on the floor against a bench, hands covering his face.

Immediately, Akaashi ran over to Bokuto and collapsed onto his knees.

**_“This has to be a joke”_ **

> _Akaashi: K-Koutarou…?_

But this was anything but a joke.

The reality of the situation sank in and heart-wrenching pleads began to escape Akaashi’s his mouth.

He was begging and begging for him to wake up and before he knew it, tears were dripping between his fingertips and landing gently on his knees. He shook and shook Bokuto, desperately trying to awaken him, begging him to wake up.

The pleads were filled with sobs as he was gradually losing control over himself.

_**Akaashi, you need to calm down, try focusing on something else** _

The little voice in his head was echoing these words over and over. He tried to focus on something else. **Anything** to calm him down. But nothing. There was simply nothing that could keep him calm in this moment. 

  
_Akaashi’s POV ***WHAT HAS HAPPENED THESE LAST FOUR HOURS***_

Nobody knew what had happened to Bokuto. Nobody knew apart from Bokuto himself.   
  
  


* * *

4 hours earlier....

Bokuto was on his way to Kuroo’s house, taking the route he usually did. Everything seemed fine at this point in time. Everything seemed like it was finally in place. **He was peaceful** and that was a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. He jogged past rows and rows of houses, briefly peering at each one along the way. Through some windows, he could see families gathered around tables, enjoying their evening meals, or siblings playing video games in the living room. Their laughter and happiness filtered throughout the neighbourhood, creating a joyous feeling in the air. This atmosphere made Bokuto’s heart flutter as he finally felt whole.

**Like life had a meaning.**

Following a couple more minutes of jogging, he finally arrived at the end of the street. He knew that this was the end of the street from the sight laid out in front of him. He was next to the town square.

Shops were scattered all over the place and a water fountain was positioned right in the centre of the setting. Bokuto was astonished by the sight. He always made regular trips to the town and was familiar with the site that he was surrounded by. However, the trips were always during the day. This time, it was the evening and the sky was beginning to close in. Everything always looked better during the night from the lights that usually didn’t stand out during the day, to the fireflies that radiated light into the sky, during only the night. It was all **breathtaking** and there was no doubt about that.

From the tiny glint out of the corner of his eye, Bokuto noticed that a new shop had opened up in town. There were lights decorating the edge of the door and soft melodies were coming from that direction. This captured Bokuto’s attention as a new found feeling of excitement bubbled over him. 

_Bokuto’s POV *Oh the new shop has opened up already! I’m sure Kuroo wouldn’t mind me being a little later than usual, I’m sure I can take a quick peak in there*_

For the next half an hour to an hour, Bokuto spent his time exploring the shop. Inside contained many things, ranging from books about animals and nature to woolly jumpers that could keep you warm during this cold weather. 

If you passed Bokuto, you would have thought that nothing was wrong with this man. That he seemed happy from the gleeful smile that he was wearing on his face.  
  


**But you would have been far from the truth.**

His body since the day he was born had been getting weaker and weaker. He knew that his time was coming to an end, that his life was going to be shorter than others, but nobody would have predicted that it would have been so soon. In fact, it wouldn’t have been so soon if something didn’t happen. Something that pushed Bokuto over his limit.  
  


Bokuto had exited the shop, empty handed. He never really liked buying many things, rather just preferred to have a look around. He felt good. He felt excited. He felt happy.  
  


Now was finally time to head to Kuroo’s house.   
  
  


**Well at least that’s what he thought.  
**  
  
In the blink of an eye, a motorbike was approaching at full speed, not braking even at the sight of Bokuto.

And just like that, everything was game over. 

The motorbike had hit him and then vanished....

There were two things Bokuto learnt.

**Anything and everything you think you know about your life can change within a matter of seconds and the time you think you have left could decrease within a blink of an eye.**

* * *

Back in the present.... 

Akaashi was still panicking. All the thoughts that were circling around his mind were driving him insane as the overlapping voices in his head continuously tormented him.

_**“You let him leave the house! This is your fault!”** _

_**“You have no one to blame but yourself!”** _

_**”Koutaro is suffering because of you!”** _

Shaking Bokuto, he yelled out louder, his voice piercing through the cold air.

Suddenly, he stopped. Bokuto’s eyes had gently opened and he smiled softly at Akaashi.

> _Bokuto: Hey Keiji...... **your eyes look pretty...**_

Akaashi clung onto Bokuto, his tears running down even quicker than before, begging him not to leave. Begging him to push through. Begging him to hang on for a bit longer whilst Kuroo called for an ambulance.

> _Akaashi: KOU! PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO BE OK! YOU’RE GOING TO BE OK! Y-YOU HAVE TO BE!!_

Akaashi’s voice cracked as he was in disbelief at the sight in front of him.

_**How did this happen?** _

_**How could this happen?** _

He took in the sight of Bokuto. His hair was messy with strands of silver dangling carelessly down onto his forehead. His usually cheerful eyes were now replaced with tired, exhausted ones. His head was resting against the bench and his lifeless legs were laid out in front of him. However, his mouth was curled up in a smile..... he looked happy.

**_How could he be happy at a time like this?_ **

All these thoughts were driving Akaashi insane and he felt the whole world crashing down on him.

_Bokuto’s POV *I-I’m just glad that you’re by my side now Keiji......*_

> _Akaashi: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN KOU?!? PLEASE TELL ME!!_

Akaashi knew that he was on the verge of completely breaking down before Bokuto took Akaashi’s hand and intertwined their hands, squeezing it tightly.

> _Bokuto: **I’m your moon, you’re my star.....**_
> 
> _Bokuto: **I love you Keiji...**_
> 
> _Akaashi: **I love you more Koutarou....**_

**and that was the last “I love you” the two were ever going to exchange....**

Bokuto turned his head to face the night sky, eyes sparkling with happiness, before smiling in defeat and gently shutting his eyes, squeezing Akaashi’s hand one last time as if he was trying to say **“everything will be ok, just be strong for me Keiji…** ”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ambulances started arriving as Kenma and Kuroo attempted to assure Akaashi that everything was going to be alright. That Bokuto was going to be just fine. That he was just tired and was going to be healed in the hospital...... but sadly, Kuroo and Kenma had already accepted reality...

The three arrived at the hospital, begging the doctors to let them into the operation room as the rest of Bokuto’s family arrived in a complete mess.

Then the moment came. The moment that everyone was dreading. The moment that Akaashi hoped would never come in his life....

The doctor walked out in defeat, despair plastered across her face. And Akaashi knew..... he knew that in that moment..... **he was....... gone.....**

Gut wrenching sobs escaped his mouth as his breathing increased rapidly and the weight of his knees suddenly felt heavy. Akaashi’s breathing got heavier as he sunk to the floor..... his gasping screams echoing around the hospital hallway that filled with darkness.....

That night...... that night Akaashi knew deep down that a fragment of his heart, a part of him that meant the absolute world to him, had detached

... **and that part of him was never coming back....**

* * *

The next morning.... Akaashi’s eyes fluttered open, letting his eyes adjust to the sunlight. He rolled over, reaching over to pull Bokuto into a tight hug and wish him good morning like he did everyday......

**But there was no one there......**

And yet again, the feeling of loneliness swallowed Akaashi whole.

He tightly shut his eyes, hoping and hoping that this was all just a bad dream. That when he would open his eyes again, Bokuto would be lying there, next to him, smiling back at him with the bright smile of his.... but no. He wasn’t. And from that moment, Akaashi knew that this was a bad dream that he was never going to wake up from.

The morning after that, Akaashi didn’t cry at all. Didn’t shed even a tear. The empty feeling, the feeling of complete loneliness was swallowing him whole, like that feeling when everyone turns their back on you, leaving you alone, stranded...... with no one to turn to.... no one to help...... and nowhere to go.....

Akaashi spent the whole morning and afternoon in his apartment . He didn’t move, he didn’t eat, didn’t feel anything. He had just allowed the darkness around him to engulf him whole, sinking further and further down into the dark hole that surrounded him.

There was just nothing there to feel anymore. Nothing to see. Nothing to do.

**No reason to live.**

_Akaashi’s POV *I should get something to eat. I guess I am a bit hungry. I can almost feel Koutarou screaming at me to eat. I don’t know if there’s any food in the house though. Let me go check*_

Akaashi climbed out of bed and walked towards the living room when something caught the corner of his eye. It was a scrunched up piece of paper lying on top of the notebook that Bokuto had spent so long writing in. The very same notebook that Bokuto had refused to show Akaashi and it clearly held something important in it....

Curiosity had gotten the better of him and Akaashi carefully unfolded the piece of paper...

**“Hey random piece of paper hehe!..... well I just needed to get this out so uhm.... how should I say this? Well... I’m really sick.... luckily my illness means that I’m not in that much pain and I don’t really look sick or anything!! Just getting gradually weaker, that’s all. I haven’t really told anyone though BUT I know that I just don’t want to put Akaashi through any pain which is why I don’t want to tell him. Gosh I’m such a pussy! Ugh I just I love him too much for that. However, I know my pain of him not knowing is worth it if it means that I won’t have to see him suffer as well. I don’t want to loose akaashi... I really don’t, but if pushing the love of my life away from me is going to cause him the least amount of pain, then I will do it! Without a second thought! Why? Because I know that it’s for the best. And Akaashi deserves nothing but the best!**

Drip drop drip

Akaashi’s tears dampened the scrunched up paper.

He couldn’t read anymore.

He couldn’t bare reading anymore.

It was all too much.

He grasped the piece of paper tightly before placing it back where it was previously. He could read it another time, maybe a time when he was more ready to.

Slowly, Akaashi headed to the living room, slumped on the sofa and wrapped himself in a blanket on the sofa; the same red blanket that he and Bokuto had spent countless nights snuggled tightly in. Then he plugged in his earphones and switched on the songs he had last remembered Bokuto listening to.

**Suddenly he wasn’t feeling so hungry anymore.**

And that’s when he saw it......

**the box**

The small blue box that Bokuto had given Akaashi around a month ago.  
Bokuto had specifically told him to only open it when Akaashi was feeling the loneliest, when he was at his saddest moment.

Akaashi’s eyes watered.

_Akaashi’s POV *N-no. I-I’m not ready....*_

His heart stung as he stood up from the sofa, stabelling himself before making his way towards the box lying at the side of the table.

Feeling lightheaded and dizzy, Akaashi gently cupped the box with his hands and inhaled deeply before slipping open the lid.

**A USB stick...?**

Akaashi shakily went over to his computer and plugged in the stick.

_Akaashi’s POV *N-no.....*_

The front cover….. it…..

It was a video.

**A video of Bokuto...**

Akaashi took a deep breath in and braced himself for what he was about to watch. Did he have the mental strength for this? He didn’t know. However, he did know one thing. He was going to watch this video no matter what.

Akaashi clicked play.

And there he was... bright and happy as ever  
Smiling at the camera, he said:

**“HEY HEY HEY Keiji! .....”**

Akaashi’s bottom lip trembled, already feeling his eyes stinging from tears forming around the corners of his eyes.

_**Could he really do this?** _

_Akaashi’s POV *Godammit Koutaro... you’ve just had to make this so much harder for me”_

**“....My dear Akaashi.... the love of my life.... the light of my world and the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on...”**

Bokuto said... the words rolling right off of his tongue, as if he’d practiced this over and over again

**“If you’re watching this, then chances are that I’m no longer with you..... “**

Akaashi stiffened, feeling his heart drop

**“but hey..... I’ll always be living in your heart like you are in mine. Never ever forget that Keiji.... “**

A single tear caressed the side of Akaashi’s cheek whilst he tried to regain his composure, blinking back the tears that were blurring his vision.

**“Plus, You’re amazing Akaashi...... I know you’ll get through this!!!”**

There it was again. That bright smile that Akaashi had missed so much. The smile that lit up a room whenever Bokuto entered. A smile that was one of Bokuto’s greatest charms. A smile that spoke a thousand words to Akaashi...

and most importantly...

_**the smile that Akaashi had fell in love with....** _

**“and you wanna know how I know that you’ll get through this? Well for one, you’re always the one that helps me get through all my problems! Without you, I definitely wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did! You’re my whole world. Heck no, you’re my entire universe!”**

Akaashi held his breath

**“...you’re the reason I woke up every morning and felt like it was a day worth living... So the reason for this video you may ask? Akaashi... I know you and I know how you must be feeling right now, but I promise you that nothing is your fault! Life is just unfair.....”**

It was unfair alright. It took away the one most important person in his life. The person he loved the most. Not only his lover and soulmate, but his best friend....

**“So I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me....never underestimate your strength ‘kaashi!**

Akaashi bit his lip but the tears were flowing non-stop at a rapid pace now.... rolling gently off his cheeks and soaking the blanket akaashi was clutching tightly onto...

_Akaashi’s POV *B-but it is my fault...... IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR NOT NOTICING THAT YOU WERE ILL*_

Akaashi’s fist clenched tight

**“......and that I’m sorry that I’m putting you through this pain. Gosh, I’m so selfish. I don’t deserve you. I knew my life would end early a long time ago. You’re just too important to me, I can’t bare telling you I’m ill. I’m getting weaker Keiji, who knows when my body will finally decide to give in? I just wish I could have a little more time....”**

Bokuto’s eyes saddened, still wearing a small but sad smile on his face...

**“but we can’t always get what we want eh?”**

Bokuto chuckled.. eyes slightly glossy

Akaashi’s lips parted a bit and in that moment, he knew he wanted to jump through the computer screen and pull Bokuto into a tight hug and tell him that everything was going to be fine and that everything was going to work out ok. But unfortunately, reality sank in. And reality was that he was going to have to accept the fact that his life was now a reality without Bokuto in it....

**“Just promise me that you’ll take care of yourself and don’t beat yourself up over anything that has happened! I love you Akaashi, you mean the world and more to me, so just know that this was not your fault so don’t feel guilty ok?”**

Akaashi sniffled before nodding, as if it was in response to Bokuto’s question...

**“Oh and one last request!”**

_Akaashi’s POV *A request?*_

_**“Every time there’s a full moon, you have to promise to point it out in place for me!”** _

  
Bokuto beamed and Akaashi felt his tears roll down his cheeks.

> _Akaashi: I will...... I promise..._

**“And one day, we will reunite together again! I am your moon and you’re my star! We will meet again!”**

> _Akaashi: we will meet again Kou...... one day....._

**“Well uh.... I made something for you! And I hope you like it”**

Akaashi froze.......

_Akaashi’s POV *H-he what...?*_

Akaashi trembled

**_“...... underneath our bed, if you check under there, you should find a blue box..”_ **

Akaashi quickly paused the video, rubbed his eyes with his arm and slowly walked over to the bedroom and looked underneath the bed. And there in fact, was a blue box. Slightly hesitating, he grasped onto it, hands shaking, and walked back to the livingroom and took another deep breath before pressing play.

**“.....if you open up the box......”**

Akaashi gently lifted up the lid and there were countless pieces of paper and photographs....

His heart rate increased....

_Akaashi’s POV *W-what is this.....*_

**“....you’ll find lots of pieces of paper! They all have a reason why I love you on it or they have one of my favourite memories I’ve had with you! Following that, there are either songs that remind me of you or memories we’ve shared together or I wrote something like: listen to this song when you’re happy! Or listen to this song when you’re sad!”**

  
  


Akaashi carefully picked up one of the pieces of paper and uncrumpled it softly, making sure to smooth it out by the corners so he could read the writing....

** ~HEY HEY HEY AKAASHI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Here is one thing I love about you: I love how your eyes light up whenever you eat really yummy food! Seeing you enjoy your food so much makes me also want to enjoy mine as much as you do! Here is a song you should listen to if you ever feel down! If you’re ever feeling like you need a song to lift up your mood then here is the answer: Blinding Lights by The Weeknd!~ **

Eyes stinging even harder, he grabbed another note from the box.

** ~HEY HEY HEY MY LOVE! I LOVE YOUUUU! Here is one thing I love about you: the way you always put others first! Even if you’re going through tough times, you always make sure to look out for others! I know you try to hide your pain but that’s why I’m here! Remember that I will always and forever be here with you! In your heart! I admire you so much Keiji.... you’re the strongest person ever! If you’re ever feeling like you’re not the strongest then listen to this! I can’t have my Akaashi moping around, not realising that he’s the strongest person ever when I’m not there to remind him that he is!: Strongest by Alan Walker and Ina Wroldsen! This song will make you feel like you can overcome anything!~ **

The air was being sucked out of his lungs as Akaashi struggled for more breaths. His throat was closing in on him, making it harder and harder to breathe by each passing second.

**~HEY HEY HEY MY BEAUTIFUL KEIJI! MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ENDLESS!! Here is one of my favourite memories I’ve had with you: When we were at a theme park with the team and you had gone to get some ice cream, I had went with Konoha to get some candy floss! Then somewhere along the way, I managed to finish the whole huge tub of candy floss and I thought it was a good idea to use the tub as a hat! And then you came back from getting ice cream, you saw me..... WITH THE CANDY FLOSS TUB STUCK ON MY HEAD BECAUSE I HAD PUSHED IT TOO FAR DOWN! That was by far the most I’ve seen you laugh which is why it was one of my favourite memories with you! Seeing your laugh always makes me feel so alive! Anyways, here’s a song that makes me feel alive! An upbeat song to listen to whenever you feel like dancing a bit: Cake by the Ocean by DNCE!~**

Akaashi smiled. Whether it was a happy or sad smile, even he didn’t know, but honestly, he felt better. As if Bokuto’s presence was near him. As if he was watching over him. He sunk down further into the sofa.

Carefully, one by one, Akaashi slid his hands over to the box to take more pieces from the box.

**~HEY HEY HEY!! KEIJI YOU’RE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU! A song that reminds me of you: Thousand Years by Christina Perri. You want to know why? Well, that was the song that we first slow danced to after I confessed to you! And also remember when we slow danced after we finished watching a movie about dance? (that was so fun!)Well, we also danced to that song! (Gosh brings back so many memories!) And then remember when we slow danced recently because you were feeling down and I wanted to take your mind off of things? All those times I slow danced with you were the best moments of my life! I just thought I’d let you know and I hope you cherish the moments as much as I cherish them!~**

Wiping away more tears that were flowing, his trembling hands carried on as if they couldn’t stop...

**~AKAAAASHIIII! THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE! I know this may seem weird but you know the moments where you just want to vibe to sad songs? Of course I don’t ever want you to be sad but I know that everyone comes across those moments where you just want to listen to sad songs, you know? So I thought I’d let you know a couple songs that I have been listening to that are super sad, but after listening to them (and crying a bit) I do actually feel better! I feel like the music understands me and I hope you feel like this too! Here’s some songs ‘kaashi:**   
**\- Another Love by Tom Odell**   
**\- Sad song by We The Kings**   
**\- Hold on by Chord Overstreet~  
**

Akaashi choked, throat tightening whilst attempting to prevent the flood of uncontrollable tears that were streaming down his cheeks.

_**Why did the world have to take him away?** _

Take away the one person that meant the most to Akaashi. It just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all. Out of everyone it could have been, it just had to be the one person that never did anything wrong to deserve this. He was taken away too soon and worst of all

**... _Akaashi never got to tell Bokuto how much he truly meant to him..._**

  
  


That night Akaashi didn’t sleep. He just couldn’t sleep. He read through all the small notes Bokuto had left him, holding each of them close to his heart, _making a promise to himself to cherish them forever._

* * *

**2 months have passed.** 2 months that Akaashi has survived the world, without Bokuto in it. The 2 months had went by like a blur. Akaashi hadn’t bothered to keep track of time. Every day, he just had the same old routine.

Wake up  
Eat breakfast  
Go to work  
Go back home  
Eat dinner  
Sleep

In fact, he hadn’t even realised that it had been so long since the loss of Bokuto until he checked the date on his phone and it read _ **“September 20th”.**_

> **It was Bokuto’s birthday.**

  
  


However, usually when Akaashi would feel joyful on this day, happy to celebrate Bokuto’s birthday with him, he felt nothing at all and just wished to be alone for the day, in honour of his loved one.

In the morning, he watched a movie and spent yet some more time, contemplating life in general. As usual, he let the feeling of loneliness sit at the bottom of his stomach, making him feel sick. He had never really gotten used to the feeling of a silent, unlively apartment.

In the afternoon, he picked up his phone and scrolled through his camera roll, finding some of the happiest moments captured in his phone. The happiest moments that were only the happiest because of Bokuto.

 _ **7:00pm**_ , the clock read. Akaashi sighed as he figured that it would probably be for the best if he made something to eat.

Step by step, he slowly made his way over to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and got out the ingredients he needed to start making ramen. Half-expecting the presence of his lover to be standing beside him, preparing the cutlery and getting the bowls out, Akaashi once again, felt a stab to the heart. The pain just wouldn’t give him a break...

**_“EEEK! IM SO EXCITED TO COOK WITH YOU KEIJI!!”_ **

**_“That was so fun Keiji! We should cook ramen together more often like this!”_ **

**_“WAIT! Keiji! On my birthday, we should make ramen!!! I know you like staying home in the evenings, so that’s what we should do!!!!!”_ **

> _Akaashi: ACKKK! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!_

Akaashi slapped himself on the head before deciding it was no use trying to forget these memories. It would only worsen the pain.

After preparing the food, he sat down at the table, grabbed his jacket and draped it over himself, clutching onto the small dangling star charm that was attached to the zipper. Upon finding a new found peaceful feeling, he switched on some music in his playlist that were filled with songs that Bokuto had recommended and began eating. Music really helped Akaashi through times like this. Thanks to Bokuto, the pain softened a bit.

After a couple minutes of eating in silence, he found himself staring out the window.

_**There was a full moon today.** _

It also seemed to Akaashi that the stars were glimmering even brighter than usual, as if they were celebrating Bokuto’s birthday too....

Akaashi smiled gently, remembering his promise, as he murmured quietly

> **_“Happy birthday Koutaro......there’s a full moon today.....”_ **

And beamed softly at the glimmering night sky.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Thankyou so much for reading! It means so much! It took me quite a while to write this because I’m pretty slow but I hope you enjoyed! I kinda got a bit teary eyed whilst writing this because I was listening to sad songs whilst doing so but we don’t talk about that-
> 
> If you are confused about how Bokuto died and how he knew he was going to die, basically Bokuto was ill and was slowly getting weaker. He decided to prepare all those notes and that video for Akaashi because he knew that his time was coming to an end. He didn’t physically show that he was really ill so nobody apart from Bokuto knew that he was ill. However, what he didn’t expect was for that time to be cut off even earlier than expected by a motorbike hitting him and then leaving him to suffer. Because Bokuto was already in a weakened state, this just pushed him over the edge. Bokuto had tried to move himself and get help but he was too weak and only managed to get to a nearby bench and then collapsed from exhaustion. Nobody noticed Bokuto for the next few hours because he was in a barely noticeable place. Then after hours, Akaashi, Kenma and Kuroo finally found him. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope this clarifies if you are confused! 
> 
> Have an amazing day <3


End file.
